Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Feeling all the feelings...

It's been one of those weeks.

The kind that thankfully doesn't happen very often, like a train wreck.

It's a week where you're suddenly screaming down the tracks at a speed that's too fast. Your heart is racing and there is a pit in your stomach because you know it's going to end badly. The train is going to crash.

One of the things that Shane loves about me is that I'm not emotional. Not that I lack emotion, but that I avoid drama.  But sometimes there is that perfect storm. When all the emotions collide and I just crash, explode, and completely burn out.

And Oh... the last 10 days have been that for me.   (...sigh...)

A busy schedule.
A family crisis.
Looming change.
Another crisis.
A lost temper.
A false accusation.
A broken heart.
Being misunderstood.
Deep past hurt.

All the feelings.

And as Christy Nockels belts out Love Can Build a Bridge:  I remember.

He already knows. As much as my chest is tight and my emotions are high, he knows. He knows that I would have the schedule clear and a time for rest would come. He knows when the crisis will be over. The change will come and go and soon be the new normal. The disappointment will eventually end in forgiveness and letting go. The sadness will soon be happiness. The anger will subside and the temper will be reigned in. Apologies will be issued, and it's ok if they're not accepted. He knows the truth and the true motivation of my heart. The brokenness will be healed and the frustration will lend itself to acceptance. He understands and he heals the past so that the future is more focused on him.

All the feelings.

post signature


oakleyses said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
oakleyses said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.