Thursday, October 25, 2007

Clean? Not so much!

Well, I decided to throw them both in the bathtub at the same time. It would have been brillliant, but lo and behold they both pooped! Nasty! Avery had some remnants apparantly that I missed when putting her in the bath and Reece just got a little too relaxed! Fun times! Not sure how clean they ended up getting!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Rain Rain GO Away, Can I move into my house today?

SO my beautiful new house is DONE! However, because of stupid paperwork (my nemesis in all aspects of life) I can't move in until Friday. Alas, I have just ONE full day until I am free of living in limbo and I can finally be at HOME!

Well, since Reece won't nurse and I am going crazy insane in this house, the kids and I went to Barnes and Noble. This was a three-fold benefit. One- Starbucks, no other words needed. Two- toys Avery can play with (Thomas the train table). Three- Xmas gifts. We were able to waste almost two hours before all heck was about to break loose that is common with a 2 1/2 and 6 month old.

My heart is literally racing and I'm not sure I will get to sleep very much tonight and tomorrow. I am in pure adrenaline rush now. Seven months of living with two spoon, four forks, and a mattress on the floor has gotten really old. I have a new appreciation for missionaries who leave all of their stuff and move across the world. Well, I am going to get my poor daughter up from her nap because I just realized in my haste to get her down for a nap before bible study she never had lunch. Oh for normalcy. Whatever that is!!! :)
PS The picture is proof that my Mom and I had A LOT of Starbucks while I was in Ohio. Love that stuff!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

These boys are breaking my heart...

I didn't see it coming, but it did. Thursday we woke up and Reece refused to nurse. This wasn't a normal "I'm not hungry" mood. He starts screaming and pushing and writhing to get away from me whenever I try to nurse him. I am an emotional mess. I keep trying, but I'm not getting him to nurse four days later. I feel like I'm in mourning. I feel like he doesn't need me. I KNOW he does it's just all of these crazy emotions. I think I am struggling with this even more because Shane is now saying he doesn't want anymore kids. We've said we wanted four even when we were dating. It's taken me aback and quite honestly I'm devastated. I don't think he really gets how hurt I am over this. I'm glad he's being honest. I would never want to have more children if he wasn't excited about it. But I'm at a loss. I sort of joked to him how we might need some marriage counseling over this. I was only half joking. I feel like he just made this huge decision and I didn't get a say in it. And I'm trying to not be angry about it. I've been praying that when Reece is older I will either have a change of heart or Shane will. I just don't feel like we're done. Our family doesn't feel complete yet. Anyway, Reece not nursing is only compounding the problem. Is this the end? Is my body done in all respects to having babies? I didn't get to nurse Avery because she was early and I feel a little cheated that Reece is stopping at 6 months. I am going to keep offering to nurse him. There are success stories on- line of this happening. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but if Reece is the last one I really hope he will start to nurse again. And if he doesn't I am going to really start praying about God filling this desire of my heart. Whatever that means. I just don't want to ache for more kids the rest of my life or regret that we only had two children. I'm hoping that Shane's decision is based on the stress of living in limbo and once we are settled into our house with all of our stuff things could change. By the way, breastpumps suck. I am only getting an ounce in 20 minutes and I am no where near emptied. If I end up with mastitis over this I am going to be so mad.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

The latest family shot...

The Carver's (Reece 6 mos., Avery 2 1/2)

Before church I had my mom take a picture since we could get everyone in it, all of our clothes were clean, and no one was crying. We even got Shane to get in the photo. He tends to be very elusive when the camera is out.

At The Barn Restaurant in Ohio and the pumpkin patch

Spending time in Ohio was awesome. We got to see family and we were, quite frankly, spoiled rotten. We were able to pass 2 1/2 weeks there instead of bored in the rental house. We missed Daddy and the dogs A LOT, but we had tons of fun. This is just one day we had and it was a lot of fun!

James, Mandy, and Maizie sitting still for a family shot outside The BARN.
Nini, Avery, and Pops feeding the ducks.
Reece and I staying in the shade. He loves the baby bjorn.
Avery picking out a pumpkin at the patch.
Reece wondering why he's sitting on a pumpkin. Pops wondering if the pumpkin really is big enough.
Avery picked out a bag of candy at the bulk food store.
Nini (my mom) and Avery walking to the hayride. Pops and Reece are at the end of the wagon.
After picking the biggest pumpkins in the patch, trying to get them in the car.
Wind blowing her hair on the hayride.

Pops had just gone to a game and was sporting his jersey. I'm sure Reece will have one someday.
Pops, Nini, and Reece on the hayride. Keep in mind this is October in Ohio. It's usually 50 degress, it was almost 90! Thankfully a big cloud covered the sun during the ride and it was much more bearable.
Nini showing off the pumpkin that was deemed Avery's. Mandy looking for James who got lost in the patch! Ha ha ha!
There's James and Maizie with their winning pumpkin! I think Maizie was wondering if Daddy was going to drop her or not!
Avery kept clinging to Mandy at the pumpkin patch, so Mandy (my sister) ended up with both of them on her lap!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Bogged down in dial-up...

Ok, so my mom came to our house on Thursday and we had an awesome time. Then the morning she left she convinced me to come back to Ohio with her for awhile. Shane and I are going a little crazy in the rental house and we are getting pretty bored. Plus, seeing our house getting closer and closer to being finished is like the night before Christmas when you are about 9 years old. You get the picture.
So, here I am in Ohio. My poor husband and two dogs are now bored together, but I am getting spoiled rotten by my mom. My dad is on a business trip until Friday and we are trying to keep it a secret that I am even here. He was a little bummed already he didn't come down last weekend, so he is going to be super excited to see the kids.
Since my mom is on dial-up the whole blogging thing is pretty frustrating. I am going through withdrawal already checking everybody's sites and I'm only able to get a little accomplished before it either cuts off or just runs so slow I lose patience. I've given up adding pictures and will just type while I am here.
The last hour of our drive(6hrs) was pretty funny. Avery was watching Dora, which is always fun to listen to (sarcasm) and Reece was crying because he's a jumping boy and the carseat cramps his style. However, I loaded the IPOD and blasted my Selah album and it turned into a pretty awesome time. I kept playing Selah and Nicole Nordeman's GLORY song. WOW WOW WOW! One line read, "death will be defeated, and it will raise its white flag." It just fell right into place with where I've been lately. Reading in the bible, hearing things on t.v., it just made Jesus feel so close to me. Like we were going to see him soon. I was all choked up and I thought about the irony with having so much "noise" and distraction and yet hearing this song made me feel like I was right there praising God with the angels. Pretty awesome. Well, that's about all I have time for today. I just wanted to let my blogger list know that I am praying for you girls. Whatever's going on in life, I just feel like I need to be praying for each of you. How awesome that we are sisters in Christ and are connected by a cord in the wall (unless you are wireless, which I am completely envious of right now, ha!) Anyway, have a great week and I will post as I have the patience for sitting here listening to AOL dial.
Love, Megan

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I can't wait to see when I get them out of storage!

Avery's nursery, brings back so many memories, she was so tiny way back then!

Some of those pictures I've been missing, talk about preggo! Avery loved eating at her "big" girl table. She refused to sit in the high chair once a friend gave us this table. I ended up just leaving it in the kitchen.

Thirteen Things I can't wait to see when I get them out of storage.

1. My clothes, actually having the right outfit for the right occasion and finally packing away those maternity clothes!

2. My wedding vide0

3. Anything from my kitchen that would actually let me cook! Who knew I would miss those pots and pans, he he he!

4. Avery's bedroom decor, I made most of it and can't wait to transition all of her stuff to a big girl room.

5. Reece's nursery decor, never been out of the packaging yet!

6. My bags and shoes, I'm a girlie girl, I love me some handbags and cute shoes.

7. My books, I know kind of nerdy, what do you expect from an English major. I even miss my college world lit textbook!

8. The blanket my Mom made when I was born and the teddy bear my dad gave me when I was born.

9. The antique school chairs that my grandpa refinished and my mom gave me.

10. All the photos of Avery's life, most of them are on the computer, but there's nothing like holding the real thing!

11. My piano, it's time I used that so -called talent for Jesus. Even if it's just singing by myself, off key, at the top of my lungs in praising him. I'm sure my parents would appreciate me actually doing something with all the money they spent on lessons!

12. My photo printer, going to get film developed is a pain! How spoiled I am!

13. Anything I pull out of a box or unwrap and it is MINE!!! (Does it sound like I've been around a two year old?) :)

Congratulations Mama and Papa Carver!


After trying for almost a year, they're pregnant!!!! This is Shane's brother Nic and his wife Amanda. Since we've moved to Virginia, they are only an hour and a half from us and we are absolutely loving getting closer to them!

We are so excited about this little bundle coming in June. And I am so excited to have a newborn to knit for again!

By the way, I had a dream she was pregnant just two nights ago! How exciting. So many people praying and to see that God is bringing another image of him into this world. They are in for the ride of their lives and I am so stinkin excited to live close enough to get to know this new little person and be there to help if they need/want it! WE LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!

A few words Wednesday

He's only 5 months old! He's trying to crawl already!
So proud of himself!
I thought he looked so sweet lying there. Then I found out he was making me a little present!
He's going to keep me on my toes! What a cute little bum!
I can't ever get enough kisses on this little man!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Just some random thoughts...

Well, I decided that I wasn't beating this nasty cold and went to the doctor. Big surprise! I have a sinus infection. I use to get them all the time before I was finally diagnosed with allergies when I was 19! But after my miscarriage, two pregnancies and nursing, I decided to give up all the meds. My doctor, who is amazingly organic and doesn't push meds, told me that I would just keep getting these nasty little boogers (literally) if I didn't take something. So as I gag down this antibiotic, I've given in. I'll go back on the allergy med for a little bit anyway. I decided I'd rather Reece get some Claritin than antibiotics all fall. It just makes me mad that I eat all organic really healthy vitamin packed food, but I still got sick.
And then I remember that I am living in a sinful world and germs are just part of that life. It is hard to believe that when we get to heaven we will NOT ever be sick. NO sickness, no acne, no medical intervention. And I can't wait to eat the food (if there is food). Our food is so laced with chemicals and has so little nutritional value that the heaven food has got to be unbelievably delicious. Instead of that tired yucky feeling after we eat, we will be so energized. Yum Yum I can't wait.

I guess I've been thinking a lot about heaven lately. Reading Adrienne's blog and hearing some of the stuff on t.v. has got me thinking that I'm going to be there sooner rather than later. (I'm not being morbid, just feels like heaven is closer to me now.) In the course of the last few days I have heard (on local and national news) the terms: global society, human microchip, cashless nation. Ok, is it just me or does this sound like it's making way for the antichrist? This is insane! I don't know if God is going to come back today or a thousand years from now. But man! are we ready? The signs are every where that this world is falling apart. I don't mean this to sound doom and gloom. Just the opposite actually.

How amazing would it be to be part of the rapture! I can just picture Shane and I holding Reece and Avery in our arms and rising up to meet Christ. How stinkin cool would that be! God's word seems so alive to me right now. And the song,"People get ready, Jesus is coming, soon we'll be going home" keeps running through my head.
So being cooped up in this little cabin I've kind of forgotten God's power. That's why I have a picture of the beach at the top. There is nothing more telling to me of God's strength than the ocean. Calm, serene, and beckoning one minute. Angry, powerful, and overwhleming the next. I never feel closer to God than when I am standing on the sand breathing in God's creation.
Well, I ended up writing over the whole course of the day and I'm not sure I got my thoughts out very well. The flow is kind of a mess, but these are the things that are popping into my head and heart!

Monday, September 24, 2007

A few things from this weekend...

This is the hat I made to donate at the Knit-In my Mom and I are going to this weekend.
Reece's head was a little big for it! But I needed a model.

We've got drywall up, it's looking like a house now!
"Mom, this thing is a little small. I am getting a headache."
A care package from my littlest sis came. Made my day since I woke up Sat. with a nasty cold.
Avery not feelig too good either. So we bummed on the couch and watched Cinderella.

This is a video of Reece in his Jumperoo. He's pretty wild in that thing.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things I love about autumn...

1. I like typing the word autumn, yes I am a dork. I think it's fun that there is an mn. How many words have that combination?

2. All of the trees turning colors. Virginia is beautiful!!!! Nevada was pretty much brown all year, not much change to see there except dead grass!

3. I love fall decorations. Can't wait to see that candle that looks like a pumpkin.
4. Halloween costumes and all that candy, yum yum yum! I wish Hersheys would go organic!

5. Pulling those comfy cozy sweaters out.

6. Being outside and breathing in the crisp clean air.

7. It just smells good.

8. School supplies. I miss buying school supplies. Teacher's are suckers for anything that writes, you can write with, or label! Nothing like a "bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils." (You've Got Mail)

9. Seeing family at Thanksgiving, eating, eating, eating

10. Moving into my new house.

11. Taking Avery trick or treating. Last year we went to three houses before she wanted to go home.

12. MOPS started, YEAH! New friends, a few hours alone, Avery is having fun too.

13. Carving pumpkins, one time a mess doesn't bother me. Ok, it actually does, but it doesn't stress me out like all other messes.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Life-Giving Words

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19: 14

I haven't realized the effects that living in "limbo" has caused on me internally until the last couple of weeks. This rental house (although a HUGE blessing) is falling apart and I never realized how the stress I feel over that has effected even how I am being a mom. I was getting to the point where I would lie in bed at night so stressed that I felt like at any moment my body was going to go into a panic attack. I have never had these problems before. I also noticed how short I was with Avery. I have felt like I was doing a good job in terms of my words and tone with her. But when I started realizing how on edge I've been and how short I have been in my patience towards her; I cringed! I read my Power of a Positive Mom devotional today and it has been another eye opener. My other eye opener was last week, but I'll get into that later.

So one of the verses is Proverbs 18:4 "A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook..." I have not had too many words of life-giving water lately. Can you imagine LIFE-GIVING! Those two words are so powerful. I forgot how the littlest things I say, the tone I use, the shortness, and lack of patience can effect my daughter. She's been clinging to me lately, really insecure. And I think this is why. I've been so frustrated with her not listening or doing what I THINK she should be doing. Then it dawned on me. She just needed ME! She needed me to put Reece on the floor and just play with HER! Oh, the tears are flowing again. I want my daughter to have patience and confidence in herself because that's what I showed her. Not that there isn't room for correction. But, I have been severely lacking gentleness lately. I want to be an encourager, wise, gentle, and life-giving. One of my favorite passages in the bible is Proverbs 31. I don't think I could ever get tired of studying it. "When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instruction." Proverbs 31:26 So this week I am praying for life-giving words and that not just my words, but my heart and thoughts please my Lord.

My first wake up call was when I stumbled on Adrienne's blog regarding her son, Noah. She has used her words and her heart to tell the story of her baby son and her words are so pleasing to the Lord. Noah became very sick at 2 months and after tests and a five months hospital stay, he lost his life. Adrienne gives all glory, through her pain, to God. Her candid words, beautiful pictures, and honest heart ripped me apart last week. I can't begin to tell her story, but she wrote on her blog ( that she is writing a book about their journey with Noah.

It got me thinking about the lack of my impact I have in my little world.

I've been too isolated, which to some degree is always a factor in a cross-country move, but still. I don't want to get to heaven and have Jesus ask me why I didn't do more. He is giving me all I need, more than I deserve, and a lot of what I want. I just don't want to leave this life and have no legacy. Whether it's my words, my actions, my heart: What should I be doing for Jesus? I can't be shy anymore. I can't be stressed out. I can't feel ill-equipped. "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart..."

Monday, September 17, 2007

Just one more row...

So I am now completely obsessed with this Koigu yarn. The only downside is that it takes forever to knit anything because it's such a small weight! I was hoping to have this done for the holidays, but with my charity projects, a sweater for Avery, and more hats and baby booties for Reece, I might be looking at more of a spring deadline. I love this pattern from CLASSIC KNITS, so far it's easy enough to work on in between taking care of the kids. It's stockinette stitch, but the varigated colors make it less boring. Some day there will be a post with me wearing this. HOpefully by then I will be in my "skinny jeans" and my skin will be back to normal. Pregnancy was not kind on my skin! And don't even get me started on my braces or my lackluster hair. Ok, this is completely off topic. Pity party over. Reece is awake and I can't to give him kisses.

Is that Uniqua from Backyardigans walking down the street?

So Avery decided to try out her Halloween costume last night. The weather has cooled off and we were able to go on a walk without suffocating in the heat. It was one of those crisp autumn nights that are perfect for being outside. Reece has been really fussy with teething and he was perfect the whole time. We had to take some pics along the way. At the end of the street is a little farm with two horses so Avery was in heaven. Once the air got a little too cool for our little man we headed back and I could hear the neighbors chuckling at our little pink dinosaur! (or is she a lizard?)

Friday, September 14, 2007

First Moments

By the time I arrived at the hospital I was 10 centimeters. The nurse said the only reason I didn't deliver in the car is because my water wouldn't break. He came out wanting to eat and hasn't stopped since! He nursed right away and the only time he left my side was to get shots or weighed.

I can't believe he's five months old now. He's growing so fast. Today I had to pack away his newborn clothes. They were so tiny! I got pretty emotional. It was the final reality that we had turned a corner in his life. He wasn't a little baby that just cried and slept. Now he's a little person and what a character he is!

Those newborn moments fly by so quickly. I love when they start to arch their back to stretch and it's a whole body experience. I wish I yawned like that sometimes. I would never want to go back, but it certainly makes me want to have more (not for a little while though!)

I am so enjoying this little man in my life. I'm trying to cherish every moment. The way he smells, his silly grin, the way he loves to bounce. He's already getting so much personality. I wonder what path his life will follow.