Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Being Real

This is my entry for our women's retreat booklet. I am no Beth Moore! But I just wanted to be real.

Psalm 23:2 (NIV)
"He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters."

This summer the Lord MADE me LIE down. I am an on the go, social, keep busy kind of person and laying around on the couch for almost three months isn't on my top ten thousand things to do. Finding out I was pregnant with our third baby was a shock and a blessing at the same time. I was so excited for about 4 days and then the nausea began. After two weeks of barely functioning and fighting with insurance to get Zophran, I was at least able to hold down food. But for the entire summer my days consisted of the bare minimum. My children were fed and clothed, but not played with. My house was picked up, but not clean. My summer was dark. The four walls of the house seemed like a prison and I didn't even have the energy to feel sorry for myself. I did have enough to complain though!

Now that I am out of the "depths of despair" I can look back and see that God clearly had a hand in each and every moment of my REST. It forced me to not over do things and to really concentrate on keeping the pregnancy. Avery and Reece suddenly started playing together. This was truly a gift. They spent the summer inside, but their new found relationship opened whole new doors of excitement for them. This is one reason I survived the summer. Shane began doing all the cooking and cleaning and all things deemed smelly or gross that would send me into a dry heaving spell. (Was that too much information?) A side of him I had never seen before. I fell in love with him in a whole new way. In sickness and in health came true. And thankfully he honored those vows and loved me through this! I pray the Lord blesses him greatly for this.

I wasn't spending my summer pouring over and studying the bible. I didn't go to any bible studies or read any theology books. My source of comfort and only daily contact with God was a bible verse plaque on my windowsill that said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipines 4:13

I think God took me to this point this summer to show me just how simple the message was. He made me lie down. Rest was the only option. A bible verse that I had heard a million times suddenly was broken down to the rawest and simplest meaning. I only had God.

1. Is there an area of your life that you are not allowing God to be your strength? What would it take to let it go?

2. In Psalm 23:2, lying down in green pastures is specific. It's a kind of rest that is secure and safe because of trusting in the Shepherd. Has there been a time that you have totally rested in God? How did that experience change you?

3. Rewrite Psalm 23:2 using your own name and your own experiences.
Example: Lord, make me, Megan, lie down on my couch and rest for my baby, I trust you to lead me through this safely, securely, and contentedly.

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1 comment:

Amanda Carver said...

Very cool...I can definitely relate to these thoughts. It is beautiful to be on the other side. Thank you Lord!